Sexual accompaniment is work that helps a person with functional diversity (colloquially referred to as a person with a disability) to enjoy their sexuality. As the concept of functional diversity is broad, so are the professional responses.
The first time I met Jose, he opened up a world for me. I traveled to Valencia after chatting with him on social networks. He opened the door of his house with bright eyes and an open heart. I told him what I normally do, my type of tantric massage and what I offer. For him it was a totally new thing, to receive a sensual touch. It was a very revealing, loving and beautiful session. We both experienced the limits, what can be done, what works, comfort and pleasure.
We all wish to receive contact, as sacred intimacy therapists we offer sensuality and loving human contact to expand and enrich what can be offered and received.
With Jose it was different, in his day to day life he needs help with everyday tasks, so he receives physical contact all the time most of the time, but not a loving erotic touch. A permission to moan for the pleasure the touch gives him no.
Sexual accompaniment fulfills two tasks that as Jose says are fundamental for humanity. To be able to have sex and to be able to know your body in a sensual and erotic way.
The second is something so trivial for many people. As children and adolescents we have touched ourselves, we have given pleasure and we know how to give pleasure to ourselves. It is critical information for sexual development. With that information, later in life we can ask and guide our partner to reach the orgasm that is our own.
That is why it is a basic right to be able to enjoy our body, the right to touch.
Here comes the second part of sexual accompaniment that like many professionals, each one carries it in his own way. From my point of view we are hands, legs, we are energy, we are aware that everything is one and at the same time we respect the integrity and autonomy of the other.
We give pleasure not in our own way but to the listening and the need of the other. We participate in the act of love as muscles connecting with the fasciae of both, following their impulses, their requests, their orders.
Yes, orders because the movements are not mine, but theirs.
I am muscles
I am fasciae
I am bones
I am heart that beats in the rhythm of the energies with whom I share space/time.
The frequency of love is universal.
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