from October 11th to 14th we will celebrate Sexperience in Barcelona. I am sure it will be another hot ride full of learning and growing together. To give you some more information I would like to share this Interview from our Main Trainer Thomas Lohmann about Sexperience. I hope to meet you in Barcelona together with Moxe.
Love THORsten Sheranius
Interview with Thomas about Sexperience
In which way does Sexperience differ from the other workshops?
In the Sexperience workshop we confront you during four days with many aspects of sexuality. In other workshops we try to show you new ways of getting erotic and good sexual experiences. In the Sexperience we focus on all the ‘normal’/usual/habitual practices of our sexlife. We practice them from different angles and afterwards there is a process of digesting and learning about it.
To integrate sex in workshop means breaking social rules, because sex is something we either we do in a couple/threesome or we do it with more anonymous with people in a darkroom or a sauna.
What is the main goal?
The main goal behind the workshop is that there is a way for you to get at ease with your sexdrive. A sexdrive can be something positive or creative and does not have to be destructive. We invented this workshop because for many people sexdrive is linked with a lot of destructive patterns of behavior.
Can you tell us more about that?
Over the years we noticed the following in a lot of our workshops: We try to make doors to another sexuality… by doing conscious touch, tantra massage, ….. When we see people developing in our workshop, we see they learn something new, but still often the old patterns of sexuality stay. It’s like opening up another world, but not really coming in piece with the old world. Sexperience is something you can dive in and it can you an opportunity too confront yourself with this. It gives you the opportunity to get a very happy sexuality, a normal sexuality, whatever that means.
What kind of old patterns do people get caught up in?
From all dealing with clients and individual sessions and learning through the men that are coming to the workshops, there are basically 7 different traps we can step into when we are living our sexlife:
- The trap of guilt and shame coming from religion. This provokes us to hide, to have sex in the dark and to be not allowed to enjoy it. That creates a lot of strange behavior, like a lot of the priests in the Catholic church who start to abuse young boys …
- The second one is the romantic trap. If we are not allowed to really explore sex as we want, we might start to copy the Hollywood films: fall in love, be romantic and exclusive in order to try to fulfill a picture and think that sexuality is fulfilled than. The inner taught is often: If I am part of a romantic couple, I can be gay and be recognized by society. But it works for six months and gets boring.
- The third trap is the sex machine: You move from city to city and fuck around as much as you can. You can get trapped into this repetitive behavior of something that originally might have given satisfaction.
- The connection of drugs and sex. Drugs can give you the impression that your sex experience is deeper or give you the self-esteem to have sex, but the effect after sometime is that people can’t have sex without drugs and eventually need more or stronger substances.
- The fifth one is related to the second. We call it ‘the gay idol’. Once out, have your gay marriage, do it all the gay way like in the magazines, copy the idols, look what car the other gays drive, go to the popular parties, go to the gym and ask the neighbor what party is on. Have sex the same way.
- Six is ‘the black hole’ or the porn industry. When your are sitting in front of the screen every evening, looking at more and more porn in order to get aroursed… you loose the real connection to another body.
- Trap number 7 is getting stuck in a trauma connected to sex and being unable to have normal sexlife … Sometimes this results in extreme unhealthy behavior that can be damaging to yourself.
We really make awareness about those traps and check where you are at now. We let you experience that you have a lot of beautiful possibilities to get out of the trap and have a fulfilled joyful sexuality without drugs and unhealthy patterns.
Is it good as a first workshop?
It depends on your ability to open up. For people who need a lot of trust to open up, it might be better to choose another workshop first. Any other workshop that deals with intimacy, sexuality and touch, such as Playful Eros, Mysterium and so many other ones.
Why does it feel so heavy as a gay men not have a fulfilled sexuality?
In the process of coming out, we develop our own character of being different, of being the 3th or 4th gender. And sex is strongly connected with that phase. As a gay man, I have the taught that I have to have fulfilled sexuality to be a gay man, to be part of the tribe. So if I don’t have a happy sexual life, I don’t feel complete.
You take the group ‘Out in the scene’? What are people’s experiences?
The most often heard comment on that is: “With the group I had another experience of a sexclub or a sauna.” “It changed my way of being in the scene. When being connected with a group, going out is a total different story then going out alone.
How about borders and communication?
It is like in every workshop: you can always step out, withdraw in the love lounge, watch all of it and come back when you feel fine. It is very important to have that possibility because if we are into sex, often things happen which we cannot control. It can either be very gorgeous and subtle or something might happen and I need my own space. Maybe because it’s boring or it triggers things deep inside. We teach that you always should be responsible over yourself and be the master over yourself even in sexual encounters.
Thank you Thomas
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