Moxe writes about the recent Winter Eros, our New Year’s Tantric retreat.

In the rugged landscape of the Swabian Alb, on the last day of the solar circle, 26 men walk in silence through the hilly forest to a gentle meadow surrounded by rocks and a small watercourse.  In silence, we begin to absorb nature and the energy surrounding us. After a while, we start to talk and admire the rough stones and the big trees around us. We stop and form a circle, look into each other’s eyes, and breathe deeply. We are all used to it by now, every time you hold other hands, every time you find friendly eyes. The body holds so much knowledge, holding another’s hand intentionally is an act of communication, holding hands in a circle is a statement.

The last day of 2022

That morning, I did a systemic ritual to prepare us for the new year. I ask everyone to think of a wish they have for themselves for the coming time. Like the walk, when we light the torches, our eyes are blinded by the fire in front of our eyes. We can’t see where we are going, but we can see clearly the torches in front of us and behind us. During the ritual it is hard to look at what we really want and we don’t recognise the destination because we are not there yet, but we can look at the light it gives us to mark the way. Like the field trip, the path becomes clear as we go. 

Every morning we wake up to Thomas Rimili’s yoga class, full of poetry and gratitude to the world that nourishes us and the people who surround us.  Afterward, a wonderful breakfast awaits us, prepared with much love by the Vogelhof crew. Hanns bakes the most delicious bread with energising local grains every day. We spend the first hours of the morning in silence until the middle of breakfast. After the bell rings, the men take advantage of the initially silent table to communicate busily with those they have experienced the morning with and with those who have just woken up.  

The night before, we got a taste from Ruhan Ishwan about the subtle power of aromas and smells and their connection to our memory, history and behaviour. During the walk, I notice more attentively the smell of the forest, the humidity, the leaves and the cold air: for some it is the smell of something very familiar, but for me it’s new and yet so beautiful. We walk together, each having a different experience.

What do I want to achieve? What do I wish for? GayLoveSpirit is a place where you can grow. Our focus is always on you as a whole person. Your sexuality, your intimate life, the next place you want to reach as a human being in your relationship with others and with your environment. Each participant had their own ritual, with their own resources and desire to be able to come to new realisations; something simple, an old truth beckoning us to take it seriously and not forget.

During the last hike of 2022 we have quiet moments, while in others we discuss our wishes for the next year with our friends and make up spells for the witchcraft we’ll do later on that evening where all our wishes, desires and blessings will melt, boil, knead and stir. When we return from the walk, we have to think about our final erotic wish for 2022. Not just think, but also to express it and actually bring it to life. It’s a challenging exercise because everyone realises how difficult it is to express your desires, even in a safe group with people you know. 

The Party

After a nice dinner, we gather for the new year party. This year, instead of celebrating with fireworks, family and big parties, we celebrate in a small circle of new/old friends, without alcohol, peeling back layers of social norms, party norms and New Year norms. This year, we decide every moment what we really want to do. Sitting in a sauna. Dancing and doing catwalks and being silly. Chilling in a magical yurt with very talented people playing a variety of instruments, or just sitting outside having interesting conversations.

In the middle of the forest, with a torch in my hand, I looked behind me and saw a trail of fires representing all the experiences and resources I already have within me that I can trust. I looked ahead of me at the trail of fire, for the path I still have to walk, and at my side beautiful men whispering spells. We are on the right path because we are together. 

GayLoveSpirit is a community that has been running these retreats for over a decade. We weave a web of solidarity, give space to sensuality and emotions, supporting each other, each one with their own challenges.

Where do you want to be next? How will the new you look like? Can you look them in the eye? Do you know the next step?

If you wish to join us this coming December, head over to our website to read more about Winter Eros and book your place. And as always, send us an email at info@gaylovespirit.org if you have any questions.