In the last two articles I wrote about my experiences of my first Tantra courses. Today I would like to talk about Tantra and morals and what I have learned for myself.
To say it straight away, in my opinion Tantra does not correspond to the Christian/Western concept of morality.
Again and again it turns out during discussions with friends about my Tantric work that I move with it far outside of today’s social norm. We are mostly religiously influenced or grown up. So am I. Only I noticed very early as a teenager that something is not right for me here. Moral concepts are imposed on me, exemplified and played, which have nothing, but also nothing to do with life as I feel it.
I always wanted to break out here. Only late in my life, also through Tantra, did I learn what morality means to me at all and that this morality which I had lived for has nothing in common with my ideas.
For me I have learned that morality, according to my imagination, has nothing in common with my ideas. It has to do with:
- Mutual Respect
and not so much to do with most “outside” opinions. Within the above limits, I can allow myself anything and be free from these notions of how to see morality.
In Tantra many exercises are done naked. Even in meditations the feelings can be different than to meditate dressed up. Being naked as such is already problematic and can be a real challenge for us, especially in a group of strange men. Here we face our moral concepts – may I now look at the Other Nude. Everyone now sees me naked!
But we are all born naked. Have we forgotten to respect each other “also” naked, without a porno running in our head? Why can’t we look at nudity as “natural” anymore?
In Tantra we also do not distinguish between body regions. The genitals and buttocks may and should also be touched (as far as the other allows!). No more or less than if I touch my back or stomach. Is it then “morally reprehensible” to touch the other in his nakedness, to marvel, to love and to show him respect for his personality?
We have lost the “connection” to our body and to other bodies.
What happens when I throw overboard my old, well-worn ideas of morality and can meet my and the other naked bodies without shame. I see the beauty, the power, the uniqueness of each part of the body.
If I simply let the above principles work and then look at nudity, I can encounter it with naturalness and without shame. It frees me for my innermost feelings – tension, love, connectedness and of course lust.
If I meet these feelings positively, I will be able to deal with nudity differently and perceive myself differently, as well as others will perceive me differently. Not as a “sex-horny buck”, but as a tender being, which reveals its needs.
Our old moral concepts prevent us from being happy in life.
Our old moral concepts also have other downsides:
- They promote feelings of jealousy
- They keep us from doing things that we really want
- They prevent us from clearly showing our own limits and borders
- They promot shame and other negative thoughts in us
We all know feelings of jealousy and shame. These will always accompany us. But if we can free ourselves from these negative thoughts, our life will become richer, stress-free and self-determined.
Especially jealousy is often a good example of how much it influences our life and actions. Often jealousy protects us or shows us our inner world. But often a negative feeling of jealousy “overpowers” us. Especially in connection with our old moral concepts jealousy can develop a bad destructive potential that we should get under control. Because of our will and because of the will of those affected. We destroy friendships, love and whole partnerships through the forces that jealousy can develop. This arises in us, mostly from misconceptions of morality.
So if we do a naked massage on another person and the partner watches, this can cause jealousy. But why? Do I love my partner less just because I massage another person naked?
No, I don’t think so. Man is designed in such a way that his love can be infinite. If I make myself aware of this and release myself from the negative, destructive jealousy thoughts, I feel the trust that my partner places in me all the more.
Especially a Tantra workshop is an excellent way to face these feelings and learn more about our inner soul life in a playful way.